As I sit in yet another airport, not so patiently waiting for yet another delayed flight, I am once again compelled to ask – what on earth have we done to piss off the travel gods? You may remember that barely a week ago I was complaining about the very same thing and a few weeks before that…and a little before that as well. This time round, we don’t even have the civilised option of sipping champagne in the comfortable surrounds of the Air France lounge, as it was overcrowded due to all the delayed flights and even the staff recommended we’d be better off outside. Frankly, I’m seriously beginning to believe we’ve cursed! It’s all I can do to stop myself from falling to my knees and screaming – ‘why gods why?’
Granted, I’m far from a patient man and today is only a postponement of a few hours – rather than the tortuously long Barcelona ordeal – but it is thoroughly aggravating nevertheless. Of course, we’ve experienced issues whilst travelling before – late transports, misplaced luggage and such – but not consistently for every single time we take leave of Paris. It’s been going on for months now! Our woes aren’t even restricted to planes, as trains and buses are also seemingly a part of this grand conspiracy. It’s gotten so bad that I find myself getting pre-emptively angry as we walk out the door with our bags in tow.
My beloved and I actually came up with a theory that it was perhaps our darling kitty cats, who were behind our misfortunes. Before you condemn us as having totally lost the plot, please hear me out. All the hassles we’ve had occurred only when we were departing Paris, whereas our return home had always been without incident – the idea being that they wanted to make it as difficult as possible for us to go away, but relatively easy to come back to them. Anyone who has owned a cat knows how truly devious they can be, I mean they’ve already manage to enslave millions of people to cater to their every whim so I don’t think a spot of transport manipulation is beyond them. Sadly, our theory has been proven wrong, as we are currently en route for Paris but frustratingly stuck in transit once more.
So, that just leaves the travel gods. Personally, I’m at a loss as to what we could have possibly done to deserve such malicious treatment. Indeed, I’d like to think that we are reasonably considerate travellers. We have good hygiene, don’t take up more than our allotted space, have a good range of languages between us to communicate with the locals and habitually make an effort to be polite to our fellow voyagers and the transport staff. It’s not even like I demand first class service, whilst in economy, no matter how much I may want – and deserve – it. And still we have been judged unworthy in some manner.
On a positive note, our summer holidays have come to an end and this is our last scheduled trip for the next few months. Hopefully, whatever dark cloud of misery we’ve found ourselves under has the time to dissipate and let us get back to relatively smooth sailing. If not, I’m always more than willing to sacrifice a virgin or two to help things along – just point me to the nearest volcano.