Law of the Land…

Lawyers are evil leeches praying on the misery of the human condition! Of course, I don’t mean any of my lovely friends who happen to work in this righteous profession…there’s quite a few actually. Rather, I refer to all the ones who seem to take great delight in making everything so unnecessarily complicated that we must rely upon them to lead us back out of the muddle of documents and incomprehensible legalese they dragged us into in the first place. Government departments are just as bad and heaven help those who have the misfortune of having to deal with both at the same time.

My current rage is down to my dealings with a legal representative who is either incompetent or lazy or simply maliciously negligent in the discharging of his duties. I shan’t go into the details – as proceedings are still ongoing – but I shall say that I’m ever so glad that I’m not the one paying for his services…although I am certainly one of those paying for his mistakes.

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Don’t even get me started on the legal system itself with its loopholes and often-discriminatory laws… marriage inequality for one. Indeed, it’s decidedly strange to know that the fact that I’m happily married to a man makes me a criminal according to the laws of certain countries.

Off of my gay soapbox for a second, we all know that what constitutes a law-abiding citizen can vary markedly depending on where you happen to find yourself living. There are some things that are universally condemned – such as murder – but there sure are a fair few things that fall into that murky grey area where the majority of people live…and no I’m not talking about London.

I mean who among us hasn’t indulged in a spot of victimless crime from time to time… underage drinking, getting high or even a harmless spot of black market organ harvesting. Personally, I prefer to live by the simple philosophy that as long as you’re happily living your life and not causing harm to anyone else then people should be free to do whatever the f@&k they want.

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But back to my real gripe – bloodsucking, ambulance chasing, morally bankrupt lawyers. It’s not that I wish them all ill will; it’s more that I want them not to exist. Damn them all to hell! The only people that frustrate me more are the ones who prattle on about God’s law and try to convert everyone back to a centuries old morality. That being said, sometimes the idea of heading back to simpler times does appeal. Where if you had a dispute the King would just tell you to cut something in half and everything would be settled…or so I understand it, at any rate.

Sadly, it doesn’t appear that we shall be free of this pox upon our lands any time soon, so I shall just have to content myself with voodoo dolls and sporadic bitching. Am I alone in my frustration?

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