Backroom Basics…

Dark, dingy, and somewhat mysterious to the uninitiated, the humble backroom can be a bastion of great joy and merriment. Sure these delightful dens of debauchery may be sleazy, but that‘s half the appeal! Of course, as with most places geared towards the specific purpose of sex, they can also be a bit of a hit and miss affair, highly dependant on the friendliness – or indeed fickleness – of the crowd.

That being said, it can be most fun wandering about in the semi-darkness, although I’ve found that your eyes do adjust to a cat-like intensity, enabling the hunt for prey to continue unabated. Speaking of which, there are many methods that men employ to ensnare potential playmates, such as puffing out their chests to display their virile form or bouts of intense staring coupled with firm rubbing of crotches. Failing that, there is always the much more direct method of simply having your erect manhood out, in hand, and showing prospective partners exactly what is coming their way. Personally, my approach changes quite markedly depending on my level of intoxication, as my inhibitions – and clothes – fall to the wayside after a sneaky cocktail or several.

In terms of one’s comportment in such places, I find it best to treat it all as a polite game. If you find an eager and compatible companion then you should immediately make the most of this happy situation. In the unfortunate case of a mismatch of needs then you should rebuff unwanted advances in a pleasant manner and politely accept any rejections you may encounter, as no one likes a bad sport – or stalker for that matter.


Then there is the tricky proposition of protecting your valuables. No I don’t mean the ones occupying your underwear, as you no doubt wish to generously share them with friendly, obliging lads. Unfortunately, there are those who are looking to lighten you load in more ways than one. I refer of course to being relieved of your keys, wallets, jewellery… items you may not notice being pilfered in the throes of passion but would surely miss once you rejoined the outside world.

Sadly, sometimes the facilities themselves may limit your shenanigans. For my part, I’m a fan of places that are fully equipped to deal with any and all situations that may arise. Frankly, I don’t see the point of setting up such areas if you aren’t going to have adequate supplies; granted this tends to be more a problem in temporary sites rather than established venues. For instance, I recently attended a dance party that had provided nothing but the side space in which to play, not even the courtesy of paper towels – in Berlin of all places! Possibly they didn’t want the bother of having to clean up afterwards or were just saving costs. Whatever the reason, poor form I say!

Whatever the occasion, remember to have fun – after all you never who you’ll end up…meeting. Don’t be afraid to regale me with tales of your amorous adventures!

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